To Luis & Joaquin

To my Sweet Boys,

It is true what people say, "Enjoy your children because time passes by so quick" and are they right. A year has passed by so quickly and I am not sure if I am quite ready to see both of you get bigger. Not too long ago was I rubbing cocoa butter on my growing belly, not too long ago where both of you growing inside of me, not too long ago both of you made your debut to this world and I found myself going to see you everyday at the hospital, at times numerous times a day.

Let the longest love affair of my life begin.......

My loves, if you only knew how much I love you and how blessed I am to have you in my life. I always wanted to have children, but as I got older, I would second guess myself. I didn't know if I could incorporate having children in my life. I was selfish,  I was impatient and I was not ready.  I was scared of bringing both of you in my life I was not sure if I had what it took to be a mom. But the day I heard the doctor telling me I was going to have twins, something inside of me said I can no longer live in fear. 

This first year was a bit hard and emotional on your daddy and me. I do not think I have cried so much in my entire life. With both of you being born so prematurely and Luis having Spina Bifida, I was not so sure what life had in mind for me, but guess what.... I am glad everything happened the way it did.

Luis, My beautiful little boy, I want you to know that when I got the news about your condition I cried so much. I prayed that the doctors were wrong and that you will be a perfect baby. The joke is on me because you are a perfect little boy. I want you to know that I never gave up on your life, it did not matter how God was sending you to me; what mattered is that you picked me to be your mommy and for that I will forever be blessed. I love the way you look at me, how you like to cuddle with me and call me out, "mama". I will forever kiss you and hug you until I can no longer take it. 

Joaquin, you are one mischievous little one. When you came home, you had just made it to 5 lbs., you hardly fit on the car seat! I was much more afraid of you that Luis because of how small you were. But know you are almost at 28 lbs! I love the way you look at me when you are not comfortable, that is my cue to let me know you want me to "rescue" you. I love your toothless smile, and how you suck your thumb while using your other hand to play with your ear. I love you so much.

I promise that I will always be there for you. I will be there to help shape your life to a positive and productive one. I promise to teach you how to smile, how to enjoy the beautiful colors of the world; how to respect everyone, especially yourselves . I promise to be there for both of you, but allow you to make mistakes; that will be the only way you will learn about a wonderful thing called life. I will be there to help you make decisions, but know that when it comes to your life the decision will ultimately be yours. I will teach you about faith, the faith that helped me get through my tough times and the faith helps me know that everything will be fine in our life. I will teach you to have fun, to laugh until you cry; to fall down, get up and brush it off. Luis, do not let Spina Bifida define who you will become in life and Joaquin, do not let prematurity define who you will become life.  There are so many thing that I could tell you what I can and won't do, but I do not know what life has in store for us. Just know that I promise to try my best at being your mom. 

When you were in the NICU, I would go and see both of you everyday. I would make sure I spend equal amounts of time with each of you. I did not want to start off any sibling rivalry so early in your life :) Everyday I was there I would sing a song to both of you that described what I was feeling at that moment. I had this thing for Aerosmith when I got pregnant with you, that continued until both of you came home: 

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping

Far away and dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment forever

Well, every moment spent with you

Is a moment I treasure"

I don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you, babe

And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you, babe

And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you

Feeling your heart beating

And I'm wondering what you're dreaming

Wondering if it's me you're seeing

Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together

And I just wanna stay with you

In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you, babe

And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you, babe

And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile

I don't wanna miss one kiss

Well, I just wanna be with you

Right here with you, just like this

I just wanna hold you close

Feel your heart so close to mine

And stay here in this moment

For all the rest of time

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY, LOVES OF MY LIFE

UNDER CONSTRUCTION--1st Birthday Party--UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Yes, in about two weeks, "Tin" and "Wis" will be one. I have been going a little crazy planning the birthday party, but it has been so much fun and I have found a lot of good deals and some not so good. The birthday celebration should be special, and I am determined to have it that way. 

This month has been a month of reflection and gratitude. I reflect on the past year, how great, worrisome, lack of sleep, hard work, emotional but over all fully blessed it has been. My boys are getting big and they are healthy. Joaquin is finally breaking a tooth in. I  think I worked up myself so much about his teeth, I was about to call the pediatrician about it----YES, I AM THAT CRAZY. 

I have had a few weekends off in a row, and I am not used to all this time off. I do not know what to do with myself. I decided to clean up the house and post some stuff on ebay and craigslist. We shall see what comes out of it, what ever does goes straight to the boys fund.

 

On an end note, here are a few pics of the boys. They have grown so much.....

I. LOVE. THEM. SO. MUCH.

Once again, this is a test. Making sure I can use my mobile phone for these shenanigans.

Hola! This is a test. Just making sure it work.

My love for Music

I have always been a lover of the arts. In particular, music. None of  my immediate family members are in any particular band per say, but we are a bunch of fools that love music. One of my most vivid childhood memories is waking up to the scent of food and coming down to the kitchen watching my dad dancing, and cooking at the same time. 


I am not one to say that I like a particular genre of music, I LOVE EVERY TYPE OF MUSIC. When we were teenagers, my parents would let us throw parties at home, just because. These parties would go on until 4 am! For three holiday seasons in a row, we would drive to Mexico to visit my parents family. The holiday parties there lasted for more than 24 hours! It was awesome!! 

As I get older, I still enjoy music but I have caught myself listening to a lot of oldies. By oldies, yes I will go far back as Elvis Presley, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, etc. I also consider oldies such as Snoop Dog, Run DMC, Too Short (I also am a huge fan of some dirty 'ol rap and Hip Hop), Aerosmith, etc. But at this current juncture, I have this certain obsession with the following artist :  

I. JUST. CAN NOT. GET. ENOUGH. OF. HER. 

Happy 2010

Hola! Sorry, I been MIA for a while. Just wanted to let ya'll know we are all alive and well. Will post new pics soon!!!

The Holidays...

Have I ever shared that I absolutely love the Holidays?! I am not sure if I love them because my birthday is on Christmas Eve, or because it is the time where you spend so much time with your loved ones (even if you don't like some of them hee, hee).

Our Holidays always start with Thanksgiving, like many of you. Ours is extra special because it is my daughter's (step) birthday, November 25. We always celebrate in on Thanksgiving, but this year she turned 15. In the Mexican culture, turning 15 is a huge deal. It is often celebrated with a huge party called a Quinceanera (Cotillion). Crystal had a choice, a cotillion or $, of course she choose money, but it would not have been cool if we didn't have a little celebration for her. So we did and we brought the whole family together.

     

This past weekend, we also put up the Christmas tree. The boys were with me in the living room and were very entertained with the lights.

We even had a little fun with the boys (please disregard their messy face, Dad doesn't seem to believe in wipes)....

I am so happy and grateful for my family's health. These Holidays are going to be extra special and emotional to me because it will be my first Christmas with my new family. I am going mad buying gifts, that there will be a point in which my husband will sign me up to a shop-a-holic intervention or something. I can not wait when my boys have the excitement of trying to stay up for Santa every year. I know it is a long way to go, but for now I am going to enjoy every minute I have with my boys, they are the best present I have received in my life thus far......